Friday, May 14, 2010

The Disaster of Wellington

Last summer the Lame Owls were reunited which obviously means that awkwardness was about to begin.
That was also the summer of a really cool play festival that had $ 2.00 tickets for students, naturally we decided to attend.
We wore our most artsy, I-like-the-theatre, clothing (scarves and hats and leather boots and things) and made our way down to the Arts Center.

Dilemma #1:

                 We couldn't find the damn entrance. First we walked around the building in our usual manner (half in a daze) and giggled at the awkward Prom kids that were looming around. Prom is basically the most uncomfortable event ever to begin with, but it's even more uncomfortable when it isn't actually your own prom and you just happen to have accidentally invaded it. So we kept wandering along the outside of the arts center hoping to find some kind of entrance, no luck. So now we were getting a bit panicky, which is never good because then we start getting irrational and wondering of maybe the building doesn't have a door because it's not even a real building or maybe this is the wrong place and we took the bus to an alternate universe, or perhaps this is all just a shared dream? Anyway, it gets bad.
We spotted some parent-friends who were also going to the play and creepily tried to follow them in with out being noticed and thus seeming incompetent. That plan was crushed like a ripe and juicy grape when they turned around to see us giggling at our cleverness.
Not only did we look incompetent but we also looked a tad insane.

Dilemma #2

       Now that the parent-friends had seen us we had to face the awkward seating issue. The problem was that, at 18 years old we should have been mature enough to sit with them and make polite conversation during intermission etc. Except obviously that isn't true. Another issue was that Zoe forgot that she is practically blind without her glasses and neglected to bring them, so we pretty much had to sit in the front row (plus if you sit there and make eye contact with and actor then you can guarantee that both you and the actor will feel really, really uncomfortable).

Dilemma #3
                Containment and restraint have never been strong points for either of us, unfortunately wild and inappropriate laughter is. This can make being in public somewhat... hazardous.
Lets just say that the play was funny, okay?

Dilemma #4

                  At $ 2.00  a pop, it seems almost necessary to see as many plays as possible, so we asked an usher where and when the next one was. This is where things get really tricky- the guy gave us a map and told us where the next venue was located, this is EXACTLY what he said "Just follow Wellington Street, it's really close." and we said "Is it walking distance from here?" and he said, I swear to God he said "yes."

We had a few hours to kill before we had to get to the next place so we decided to get some dinner and then run around downtown taking weird pictures of ourselves. You know, the usual.
Eventually the time came for us to start heading down to the theater, so we found Wellington (easy) and began our journey. The first twenty minutes were easy going and fun, we were so young and naive then. After about forty minutes of walking (and skipping and dancing and singing) we started to get a little anxious, we weren't any where near where we should have been according to the ushers map...
We found this guy with and iPhone and begged him to google map the address for us, he did and gave us very sombre news. Our destination was still 8 miles away.
I guess the really ridiculous part is that at that point we still thought we could do it.
We couldn't.

Dilemma #5

         The real reason we had to stop? We found a Field. Yep, one look at all that luscious grass and moss and we were done for, we had to test it out. It needed to be laid in! Plus we'd been walking for approximately ten thousand years anyway, we deserved it.
The problem with that is that once you lie down in a field, it is actually physically impossible to remove yourself from it for at least an hour.

Needless to say, we never did get to see The Erotic Adventures Of Don Juan as preformed by marionettes. Which is a shame, really, when you think about it.
It was probably very inspired.

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